Diagnosed with Tracheomalacia

Today went surprisingly very well! I couldn't of been more pleased with the amount of attention and great care we got from the staff at Saint Johns.
Since Will was going under he was not allowed anything to eat or drink after midnight, He ended up waking up on his own at 11:30 pm, must not of wanted to miss a meal. So I fed him right before the cutoff. I was worried what the morning would bring since he is so used to waking up and eating right away but with some help from the binkie he was a perfect angel! I pumped in the morning and we were off, left our house at 6 am! Luke's mom met me at the hospital, I was SO thankful to have her there. We were shown to our room and admitted. Everything went so smoothly, and Will didn't even mind his new little dress:

He was SUCH a good boy, I know I keep saying that, but keep in mind he hasn't eating since 11 pm and he is in a scary hospital, naked!

After talking with some nurses, anesthesiologists, and the doctor he was taken back. My full term, perfectly healthy, breastfed baby, was taken out of my arms and placed in a blanket in the arms of a doctor followed by two anesthesiologists and a nurse and they all walked away.... Mommy had a mini meltdown. Then the wait began, Kris and I checked our phones, since it was still so early there weren't many emails for me to check. We called my mom to update her, and I texted Luke updates and before we knew it (about an hour) the phone rang. Will did great and is in recovery! Soon after the doctor came in to discuss what he found.

He said Will would be waking up soon and I could go see him in a bit. He found that Will has what they refer to as:

Tracheomalacia Tracheomalacia in a newborn occurs when the cartilage in the windpipe (trachea) has not developed properly.

The way the doctor further explained this to us: Your trachea is supposed to be the shape of a tunnel (like you drive through) flat on the bottom and curved on the top. Will's is flat on the bottom and not very curved on the top, which in turn flattens even more when he coughs which creates his barky sounding cough..... furthermore, your trachea is made of cartilage the same type in your ear, in a baby it is not fully hardened for a while.

This is something that most babies grow out of and he said that Will did not have a severe case of it, most babies will grow out of it around a year or two.

Again SO great to have Kris there, another person listening to all of this information with me, and a nurse at that, she helps me keep so calm. :)

If Will gets a cold we really need to watch it and see how long his cough lasts, since his coughs cant get progressive (cough things up) common colds could lead to bacterial infections that we'll need to treat. Of course I'd rather this not even be an issue so we'll do what we can to keep the lil guy healthy. Which brings me to thinking I need to keep breastfeeding as long as possible. I know it helps so much with keeping babies healthy and fighting off bugs so if that is one step I can take to help him I will.

Will is on two reflux meds, one is supposed to help strengthen his esophagus and trachea he will stay on this one for a while.

They are testing the cultures taken out of his lungs and will make sure he doesn't have any current infections and will also test these to see if there is breastmilk in them which would mean he does aspirate, which would mean he does has reflux. We will get these results on Monday.

It felt SO good to have so many answers about my baby, we haven't known what was going on for a long time and we finally do, and there is a plan, and a solution!!

A little later a nurse came to get me to take me to recovery to see Will. Only one of us could go so I went to see my sweet baby. As we walked back the nurse told me how hard it must be to go through this so young... I thought she meant Will at first, then realized she thought I was like 17. A compliment I guess. Whatever, just show me where my baby is lady... ha!

Awwwhhhhhh There he was in his little bed, hooked up to monitors still, he was sleeping soundly and the nurse was imputing all of his information. I sat and stroked his hair and whispered sweet nothings to him and thanked God for our answers.

We went back to our room and to see Gigi, and after more nurses put in more information he finally got his iv's out and I held him....

My sweet sleepy baby back in my arms!

He downed some pediylite and we were out the door! I got home by 10:15 am feed him a little and put him back to sleep, it is 1:30 and the prince is still out like a light. He is going to be one hungry boy when he wakes up!

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughtfulness, care, and concern! So many worse things could happen I know, but it has been torture getting different answers and not knowing, and as hard as today was I am so glad we have an answer and some solutions. I really appreciate all the kind words, prayers, texts, calls, and thoughts today. God bless you all.

Things could always be worse!

My perfect as pie baby William still has this nasty cough, it is more and more frequent and sometimes makes his little eyes water. My heart breaks a little every time I hear him do it and the rougher it gets the more I am thinking it's got to be hurting him. After talking some more with both doctors Friday we scheduled the Bronchoscopy.

This Friday Will and I will go back up to St. Johns, Luke's mom is going to meet me there to help. I know I am going to be an emotional wreck! Just the mere fact that my four month old baby, that I would do and do-do anything and everything to make happy and healthy has to "go under"

I asked too many questions to the poor nurse, I did not need to hear the words: Gas, IV, or crash cart when speaking about my four month old baby. But I am a neurotic mommy and kept pushing for more information.

They will put Will under and go in to take a very in depth look at his airways, trachea, and get cultures from inside his lungs. We are hoping for at least some answers and results from this, and while of course I don't want anything to be wrong with him, I just want a solution so we can put this all behind us. I would hate to put him through all of this and them come back with the same answer, same as the chest xrays I held him down for and the upper gi I held him down and made him drink the gross chalky stuff, everything is normal and we have no idea what is going on with him. No this time I want an answer, a plan, and a solution.

The hardest part will be that since he is going under anesthesia he cant have ANYTHING to eat or drink after midnight.... On a normal night lately Will eats right before bed and goes down anywhere form 7:45- 8:30, wakes around 5 or 5:30 and I cant change his diaper, give meds, and walk from his room to ours fast enough for the little guy to latch on; all which takes a mere minute and a half to two minutes. I am going to feel so bad with him looking at me with hungry eyes and being in the hospital with a starving cranky baby. My plan is to wake him up around 11:30 to feed him so hopefully he will sleep till it is time to leave, and probably bring the stroller in with us so if we have to wait or anything I can walk with him.

Please pray for the outcome of this, nothing big, but something to stop this awful cough. Or just some answers so this pit in our stomachs can leave our house and life can get back to normal a little. I do know that things can always be worse, Will could be worse my moms arm injury could always of been worse (however not by much) But I need to be thankful for our health and stay positive.

And a picture of my happy boy for good measure ;)

Fun family times!

Sunday we had a family dinner at my Nana's celebrating the January and February birthdays. Nana out did herself with the best dinner thus far, creamy asparagus soup, turkey, broccoli casserole, bread, salad, and huge twice baked loaded potatoes! Nana is the best cook EVER!

Aunt Crystal and Willwill

Bennett attacking Blake

The biggest ice cream cake you've ever seen before!

My mom, she just had another mri yesterday to find out that now there are tendons (and such) ripped up in her shoulder. It is so upsetting that they did not find this the first time before they did the first surgery on her elbow now they will have to go BACK in! She still has NO movement in her fingers, wrist, elbow etc. Please pray for an easy next surgery and physical therapy to help her get better. It is really hurting her that she cant help me with, or even hold Will.

Here come the BABIES!!!

Introducing William's new best friend.... Mr. Jack David!!! Our good friends Colleen and Ross gave birth to this precious bundle on February first. Luke and Ross have been great friends ever since they were younger and we are all thrilled that our little boys will too have such a companion. At almost exactly four months we were all shocked by the difference in our boys, us by the teeny tiny baby and them by the gigantic butterball. Hard for us to believe soon we will not see a difference at all in these two!

I cant wait to see the trouble these two are going to get in together!

Speaking of babies..... I think there is some sort of BOOM going on in the Lou! So many of our friends are expecting!

Meghan and Nick
expecting #2 Annabelle Jean end of March

Michelle and Adam
expecting their first baby Miss Eliza end of March
side note: Michelle married Adam, our friend Meghan's first cousin, so double cool for them having the babies in the family so close together!

Lauren and Brian
expecting their second daughter Audrey end of April

Jenn and Kyle
expecting their first baby, a boy Mason this May

Julia and Danny
expecting their second (a boy) this July

Two of Luke's other friends, one of which had their baby the same day as Jack.

and two of my sisters good friends just gave birth!

Will is going to have so many great friends, and we can all save on babysitters by hanging out at each others houses with the little ones, bring on the barbeque's!

Superbowl and Valentines

Will with two of his best friends Jessie and Jamie, Mommy likes them a lot too!

Daddy and Will on his first Superbowl!
We went to our friends Brian and Natalie's for Superbowl this year, it was a great turnout of a very fun group of people, and though Mr Will decided he did NOT want to nap during he party it was still a great time... with LOTS of yummy food!

With Will and his doctor appointments, finishing the basement, my dear husband deciding to list his car on craigslist (selling it and needing a new one in a days notice) and still learning how to work, be a good mommy, and keep a household running all with a smile on my face, Valentines day took to the back burner this year, and honestly we have been too tired to even think about planning anything.

Thanks to my amazing mother in law, whom without I may have lost my marbles thus far, we got to go out for a couple hours Monday night, we ran up to lowes to look at some things for the basement and got some Mexican food we had been craving. Luke brought me home white roses and I got him a card... Perfect V day. Lukes mom came over Sunday night (since we leave so early for work) so she watched him all day Monday and Monday evening, Thank you Gigi!

Mr. Will got LOTS of extra sugars and smooches Monday, guess the only year I'll get off the hook without getting the LIL Mr. a gift!

Hope everyone had a great LOVE day!

Will loves faces

So due to our quiet, relaxed nighttime routine this video came out a little dark, but I had to share! My little learner latley has been very intersted in my face, he loves to grab and coo' at the differnt parts, it is one of the most adorable and sweet things he has done so far!
This boy makes my heart melt!

Mama's Boy

We've had a pretty rough go so far at 2011 and I felt we needed somethings to just start getting easier!
I am very thankful my body is able and my baby thrived on my breast milk, but it is not the easiest thing I have ever done! I wear a nursing tank top 24 hours a day 7 days a week, my massive boobies don't fit in some of my shirts, I leak, not all the time but sometimes which leads to boobie pads everyday. They "say" Will has reflux (we still don't believe it) but we do what the doctors say and add cereal to thicken up my runny milk which leads to constipation so then we add white grape juice to try and get Will to poop. I pump at work which isn't too bad, and finally Will still was not sleeping through the nights and recently started to refuse to eat in the morning after being fed in the middle of the night. I hate struggling with this and starting our days on a sour note.
So Friday I sat in the parking lot of Walgreen's before I went in and purchased the formula, called Luke and cried. I hate that I had tried so hard and did so good for four months and still felt like a bad mother, a failure for trying it out. But at the end of the day I had to try something, something had to make this all a little bit easier.
We tried the Enfamil AR, with added rice to make his belly full and happy, thus to try and get him not to reflux.
He HATES formula, hates it!!!! We tried mixing 1 ounce of it with 4 ounces of breast milk and he still refused. I left the house so he wouldn't see, hear, or smell me when Luke tried to feed him. It became a battle, what if I wanted to quit all together, what if something happened to me? People said when he was hungry he would eat it so we thought we would just keep trying.
The constipation had set in once again so we tried the formula with the grape juice. We got down a total of two bottles of formula throughout the whole weekend but not without a fight, I think all three of us had mental breakdowns over this and come Monday with Luke's mom he still wasn't eating it so I threw in the towel.
I don't understand why he hates it so much or why this seems so much harder for him than other babies but if what he needs most right now is me then I will give that to him, whole hearted.
After all is said and done in a way it is nice to be needed by someone :) I just wish things were a little easier for nursing mommas and babies.

Note: Yesterday his pedi referred me to another specialist to look at him to try and figure out his cough.

First bites

Will has had his first tastes of solid food! Cereal, and yes daddy now knows what baby cereal actually is (thick milk!) Some people wait a little longer to introduce this, but with trying to heavy up what is going in little man's stomach we thought we'd give it a shot! He doesn't really know what to think of that darn spoon in his mouth, all he knows is to suck so it will take some getting used to for sure!

Will eats cereal

I just want an answer...

Will's cough should of shown some improvement by now but instead it is the same if not worse, last night he was coughing in bed so bad that he threw up all over, TONS. I wont go into detail but it was disgusting. After talking with the specialists nurse and his pediatrician whom I have spoken to every day for the past week and a half they want to see him again.

As the nurse told me this and I asked more questions....after questions, I began to sit at my desk at work and break down. The next step will be for him to go under and then to do a Bronchoscopy and the nurse informed me they can get him in for this tomorrow.

WHAT! WHY?!?!
He has a cough, why cant they figure out what it is and get him meds and get this taken care of?
Does he still have reflux?
Does he have allergies? dogs? cats? Asthma?
Should I stop breastfeeding?
Why is my perfect baby sick??????????????????
I had a (more than) full term, healthy pregnancy.
He was a perfect weight perfect health baby
He is not around smoke, germs from a daycare, and we even limit the times we take him out in the cold.

What if they go in for this text and they find nothing, they find that everything is completely normal, the same thing they have been finding at all the other tests! Then what?

I understand that sometimes medicine is trial and error but when they do it to your own child, your own four month perfect baby it is torture.
I don't want to see him go under tomorrow, it is my worst nightmare but if it is what is best for us and what possibly might get us some answers I guess it is the only choice for right now.

Update on sleep....

We have not conquered the sleep thing yet, got close one night but cant keep that up for some reason. Trying to get everything else under control for a while before we keep try, trying again!

Wish I could snuggle in bed with this guy all day!

Tickle laughs

William's four month pictures!

Hello! Time for pictures again!
My parents are crazy....

Still eating my hand... all.the.time.

Giggling

Looking at my buddy Boomer

Our Snow Day Snowpocalypse 2011

They predicted LOTS of ice which we got in the form of rain, freezing rain, and sleet all day long but what we didn't get was all of the snow on top of that! Regardless Luke stayed home (His work was open till noon and since he didn't go in he has to use a full day of leave - dumb!) But we enjoyed having daddy home for a change on our little ICE day! This picture was taken about noonMe and my little buddy

Hello!

I cant wait to be outside with Will, he has gotten to see like a total of 3 nice days so far! His pale little face reminds me of this.
Just hanging out

And giggling!

And we ALL got some little naps in....

Will and his bubble machine....

Another one of Will's favorite things to do right now is blow bubbles! He will do it all day and loves when you sit and do it back at him!

Will's favorites

Will is doing so many new things and has started to favor some over others! Here are some of his favorite things to do right now at four months old... He is finally tall enough to start using his exersaucer, with the help of quite a few books underneath! The Parents as Teachers helper said to limit use till they have complete head control and make sure their feet are always touching so we have just stated exploring with this a little. He loves to stand, and he is really good at it! Daddy is convinced with all this standing he will walk at an early age and be good at sports... I think for now he just likes the change of scenery!

My mom got Will this Vtech toy for Christmas and it is his FAVORITE toy, it plays songs, makes noises, and the little orange guy dances around, Will LOVES this toy!!!! Mommy and Daddy on the other hand have every single word memorized and can be found singing the songs even long after Will has went to bed.

I'm a big boy in my bumbo seat! I love that Will can sit up and play with his toys

I'm a grabber!!!!! He can grab, hold, and put his toys in his mouth!

And last but not least, his favorite thing of all right now, being an airplane!!!

Whether in Mommy's arms or on her legs it is the funnest and funniest thing he's ever done!

VROMMMMM Look at me go!

Saying Goodbye to Grandma Ad

I am having somewhat of a hard time accepting what happened. I don't know if it is because we just saw her and spent time with her, or the fact that they live far away and I still feel like we should be able to call and go visit anytime we want and she will be there.

I wanted to sit down and blog about this but it felt so overwhelming to think of the right words, I read my sisters blog last night and she wrote this perfectly and I thought it would be easier to copy some of hers for now.

On January 28, 2011 my sweet Grandma Ad went to be home with the Lord. She was in the hospital about two weeks prior with problems with her intestines (diverticulitis, I think?). After four surgeries in two weeks time, the doctor, my Grandpa, dad, aunt, and uncle decided not to put Grandma through anymore surgeries. Two days later, the doctor changed his mind and said that he wanted to go in one more time to try to repair the leak in her intestine (that was Friday morning). The surgery actually went well and the doctor was able to find the leak. However, Grandma took a turn for the worse after the surgery was over and she passed away that evening.Grandma Ad (Adeline) was born on January 17, 1930, so she blessed everyone with 81 years of selfless love. She married my Grandpa Bill on February 11, 1950, which means their 61st wedding anniversary is next week! Out of every married couple I have ever known, they are the couple I admire the most. Grandma and Grandpa constantly put each other before themselves and held hands wherever they went! She was such a beautiful, caring, selfless, delicate, strong, hard-working woman. We all love her so much. Grandma was a Christian, so I am finding peace in the fact that she is with God now.

Grandma's wake/memorial was this evening in Clifton, Illinois, which is about 4.5 hours north of here. Due to the intense ice storm in St. Louis yesterday and today, my sister and I decided that the trip was too risky to take, especially with our two sons in the car. I talked to my mom yesterday and she said the trip took her and my dad over 6.5 hours to get there and that it was extremely dangerous. They had to pull over several times to scrape the ice off there car and several times they had to pull over because it was sleeting too hard, they couldn't see the road at all. I guess we made the right decision to stay safe in St. Louis iced in our houses today, but I was really sad to miss the service today. However, I know that Grandma would not want me and Bennett to take a risky drive like that.I just got off the phone with my mom and she said that the funeral that was supposed to take place tomorrow morning, will now be postponed until Thursday morning due to the blizzard they are having in Kankakee, Illinois. Gosh - what a bad time for this winter storm to hit!

Grandma Ad's Obituary:

Adeline M. Nottke, 81, of rural Clifton, died Friday evening (Jan. 28, 2011) at Riverside Medical Center, in Kankakee, following a short illness. Visitation will be from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Tuesday at the Knapp Funeral Home in Clifton, and from 9:30 a.m. Wednesday at Asbury United Methodist Church, in Kankakee, until the 10:30 a.m. funeral services. The Rev. Steve Goodin will officiate.Burial will be in Mound Grove Gardens of Memory, Kankakee. Memorials may be made to Asbury United Methodist Church, where she was a member for 70 years.She was born Jan. 17, 1930, in Kankakee, the daughter of Charles and Violet Burling Brinkman. She was a member of the Quadrille Club, the Emblem Club of the Elks, and the No Fuss No Muss Club. She enjoyed being with her grandchildren, playing cards, flower gardening and traveling.Surviving are her husband, William H. Nottke, whom she married Feb. 11, 1950, in Kankakee; one daughter, Cynthia Cailteux, of Clifton; two sons and daughters-in-law, William Jr. and Lora Nottke, of Sunset Hills, Mo., and Alan and Pam Nottke, of Bourbonnais; eight grandchildren, Leslie (Mike) Simmons, Chad (Sue) Cailteux, Troy (Jamie) Cailteux, Crystal Mueller, Ashley (Luke) Wilson, Brandt Nottke, Daniel Nottke and Alicia Nottke; seven great-grandchildren, Drew Simmons, Kate Cailteux, Pierce Cailteux, Kira Cailteux, Addison Cailteux, Bennett Mueller and William Wilson; and one brother and sister-in-law, Charles and Carolyn Brinkman, of Bonfield.

I am so blessed to of had all four of my grandparents still and for Will to meet four of his great grandparents. I have so many great memories with Grandma Ad! Here are just a few:

-When we were little and we would go visit and she would tuck us in as she went to kiss us good night she would nuzzle way down in our neck and tickle us and make a funny noise.

- She loved her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren more than anyone I have ever seen. And when a new baby was born the excitement could be felt from states away and her and grandpa Bill were always here the second they could be so she could get her hands on that new baby!

- She made the best homemade applesauce, the best.

- At my wedding shower, she told me, "I am so happy to be able to still be here to experience this with you." It brought tears to my eyes and she asked why I was crying and I told her I was not, I was just very happy. You can imagine my excitement when almost three years later she was in the same spot at my baby shower.

I love you Grandma Ad and I will miss you everyday.