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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Working momma

I have been wanting to do a post for a while now on being a working mother, With lots of friends expecting I have had some people asking my opinion and thoughts, and contemplating their own choices...
Let me start by saying I don't know anyone who wants to go back to work after they have a baby. I had a great maternity leave, 3 months long, during the winter so I could Christmas shop and be stuck inside napping, and the greatest thing... paid. I did work from home a little, and saw a customer or two, I remember I was finally feeling READY to go back to work about 1/2 way through but thank goodness I didn't.
Dropping Will off the first and second days back to work was by far the hardest thing I had ever done, {yes pregnancy and labor included!} And people are right when they say it does get easier... but in the beginning you want them to be held right, fed right, put to sleep right, swaddled right, I could go on forever. When they get a little older it is easier because they play and interact more.
I've been back to work now for a little over a year and I've had two "lord help me Jesus moments" wondering why I am doing this to myself and should I just stay home.... Both times I was in the changing sitters transition. I think I get this feeling when changing because I start to wonder why I have to search high and low to find someone great, and why I have to pay them to hang out with my son all day when I would love to do that and dread dropping him off.
But at the end of the day I think I am a better mom being a working mom, I love Will to death but there is only so much he can learn from me and so much I can teach him. I'm not a teacher by nature nor did I get any sort of education in that field. I love that he comes home and has learned so many new things, and I really haven't had the mommy moment of being sad I missed any firsts yet. I know he is with people he loves and who love him, and I know I will always still make time for our special days.
I understand why moms say stay at home moms have the hardest job, and I cant imagine not having the social interaction, but us working mommas put on our game face all day and our mommy, maid, wife, banker, social planner, face at night. It is exhausting, there is no time for breaks...some days I want to throw in the towel, some days Luke and I fight about who does more and why I don't get more help, but I do feel it is the best of both worlds for me.
And at the end of the day I wish we could both not work and have all the money in the world and play all day, but we cant and I'm finally after 14 months completely okay with that.

Being in the car everyday we read a lot of books and sing a lot of songs, a mix of everything from dave matthews to itsy bitsy spider

and at the end of the day we spend a lot of time snuggled close to each other.
I am glad I took a minute to write this, within the next couple months we will change sitters again. {5th sitter for Will since he was born, even if the first was only two days} As much as I don't like all of this change I am confidant I have always made sure that he was in the exact right spot for his age, development, and needs. I wish he could stay with Mama Michelle forever and she could be his teacher forever, but the good thing is that she will always be a huge influence in his life because not only is she his Mama Michelle, she is one of the bestest friends I have ever known.

1 comment:

  1. This is so true. Often times moms talk about being stay at home moms (myself included) but in all seriousness I seriously have no idea how you manage to hold a household together. Picking up from daycarE,dinner,bath,play, clean it seems like my anxiety would be out the roof and my hubs and I would be arguing a lot.
    I decided to stay at home bc my husband travels so much for his work that it would just make things near impossible him gone 3-5 nights every other week.

    Keep your head up your SUPER mom! :-)


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