I have so many great friends and family members who have been there and done that and I thoroughly enjoy every bit of advise they give me but there is one thing I didn't get a warming about....
No matter how many books you read, how prepared you are, or what an amazing parent you are there is an unspeakable amount of guilt that follows you around wherever you go and from what I can imagine it will be lingering with you for the rest of your life, this I call "mommy guilt"
From day one Luke and I would sit in our family room and ask each other, should we feed him again, when should he go to sleep, is he eating enough, is he happy, is he going to sleep too late, is he going to sleep too early... the list goes on and on and since there is NO right answer and no one way to do things there are well... no answers.
I am not one for no answers. I need an answer, a plan, and a schedule and I am a happy girl. Well when a baby joins the team all of that goes out the window and you are left with mommy guilt.
Will did very good for a while with sleeping, then he got sick, then he got more sick and now we are back to square one. I waited till I knew he was 100% better before I would even think about trying to get him sleeping better so now that he is better I am left with so many questions. There aer so many opinions on sleep out there you never know what to believe or what to try and since every baby is different there is just no one answer.
Right now Will sleeps on and off through the day when he wants, (which leads to sometimes him napping at 6 or 7 pm) he usually goes down about 9 or 9:30 after his last feeding from breast. We try to stick to a good routine, last feeding upstairs on Mommy's bed, with a clean diaper and jammies on, then we go in his room, swaddle, give kisses, give binkie and rock for just a minute. I try to lay him down when he is drowsy so he can put himself to sleep.
Lately he wakes 1, 2, or 3 times a night.
I heard that if they get used to eating in the night they will rely on that food and keep waking so sometimes I get him to go back down without eating but by the 2nd or 3rd wake we usually resort to nursing.
Then he is usually up around 6 or 6:30.
Up once at 4, eat, then back to sleep, then the morning is pretty messed up as he is just getting up as I walk out the door etc... Reguardless I have not been on time to work once since going back.
Some experts say to put them to bed earlier and they will sleep better, some mommas say to give them a bottle of pumped milk before bed as they may get more that way and stay fuller. Some say to let them cry it out at night as to learn to put themselves to sleep, some say he is hungry and to nurse him.
I think we will try some new things because I am barley functioning on amount of sleep or lack there of. But the crying it out, I feel like Will will get so worked up and not be able to comfort himself back to sleep if I try this, or should I try it and nurse him after ten minutes if it does not work??
I obviously don't know what is best or what is the right thing to do for Will, if he could only talk and tell me what he needs...
This is one of my first experiences with mommy guilt and I am sure there will be plenty more to come, but it sure would lift my "mommy esteem" if maybe some ting I try works. (don't laugh, I can hope right!?)